A cancer diagnosis changes everything—and often, one of the hardest parts is having to tell the people you love. These conversations can be deeply emotional, sometimes awkward, and often overwhelming. But they’re also essential. Sharing your diagnosis can help you build the support system you’ll need throughout your journey.
At Ardynn, we often hear:
“I didn’t know how to start the conversation. I was worried about upsetting them—or not having the right words.”
You’re not alone. Here’s a compassionate, step-by-step guide to help you approach these important conversations with clarity, confidence, and care.
1. Prepare Yourself First
Before you talk to others, take a moment to reflect on what you need from the conversation. Are you looking for emotional support? Help with logistics? Or do you just want to share the news?
Try to get familiar with your diagnosis and treatment plan so you feel more grounded. Your Ardynn advocate can help you understand your options, clarify language, and even practice the conversation with you ahead of time (American Cancer Society, 2022).
2. Choose the Right Setting
Find a quiet, comfortable place where you won’t be interrupted. Timing matters too—choose a time when everyone can be fully present and emotionally available.
If it feels too overwhelming to do face-to-face, you can write a letter, send an email, or invite your loved one to join a call with your Ardynn advocate.
3. Be Honest and Direct
Use clear, straightforward language. It’s okay to say, “This is hard to talk about, but I want to share it with you because I care about you.” Avoid euphemisms that might cause confusion.
You don’t need to have all the answers. It’s okay to show emotion. Being open about how you feel helps people understand how best to support you (National Cancer Institute, 2021).
4. Share Information in Layers
Start with the basics—your diagnosis, treatment plan, and what you know right now. Watch how your loved ones respond and share more if it feels right.
Give people time to process. Sometimes, silence or tears are part of the moment. You don’t have to fill every pause.
5. Invite Questions
Encourage your family and friends to ask what’s on their minds. Answer what you can, and if you don’t know something, it’s okay to say, “I’m still figuring that out.”
Your Ardynn advocate can be a resource for questions too, especially when it comes to treatment side effects, decision points, and navigating care.
6. Prepare for a Range of Emotions
People may react in ways you don’t expect—shock, sadness, frustration, silence. Their reactions aren’t about you—they’re about their fear of losing someone they love.
Try to stay patient. You don’t need to manage their emotions—you just need to be present. Ardynn can help facilitate these conversations if they become especially tough (CancerCare, 2023).
7. Talk About What Support Looks Like
Be specific. Do you need someone to drive you to appointments? Help with meals? Just be someone you can text when you’re feeling overwhelmed?
Designate a “point person” if it helps—a trusted friend or family member who can coordinate logistics, share updates, and help you manage offers of help.
8. Keep the Conversation Going
Let your loved ones know this isn’t a one-time conversation. As your treatment evolves, so will your needs and feelings.
It can be helpful to schedule regular check-ins or include family and friends in updates with your Ardynn advocate so everyone stays informed and supported.
9. Protect Your Energy
You don’t owe anyone every detail. Set boundaries around how much you want to share, how often you want to talk about your diagnosis, or who you want updates from.
If conversations become too emotionally heavy, talk to your advocate or a mental health professional. You deserve space to care for yourself too.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
Telling your loved ones about a cancer diagnosis is never easy—but it’s also a chance to lean into connection, deepen relationships, and create the support you’ll need for the road ahead.
At Ardynn, we walk with you through every step of the journey. Whether it’s helping you prepare for difficult conversations, explaining treatment options in plain language, or guiding your support system on how to show up—we’re here.
To get started with an advocate, contact Ardynn member services at 737-307-0077 or click here to schedule an introductory call.
References
American Cancer Society. (2022). Talking to Friends and Family About Your Cancer. Retrieved from https://www.cancer.org
National Cancer Institute. (2021). Communicating with Family and Friends. Retrieved from https://www.cancer.gov
CancerCare. (2023). How to Tell Others About Your Diagnosis. Retrieved from https://www.cancercare.org
